Personally, as an actress in the drama team, I acted many characters, usually villains. Even so, I enjoyed being the evil person in the drama. Probably because I don't have a very kind looking face nor a very sweet, melodious feminine voice. I even acted as a psychotic lady, who abused old ladies and down syndrome children. Psychotic lady who committed suicide after killing her very own sister just for the sake of snatching the family's fortune and make it her own. And now, my current role, was to be a normal teenage girl who betrayed her friend just to achieve her dreams. A girl whose dreams are not supported by her very own mother. A selfish and proud friend. That's my current role. Interesting aye?

However, when I get out from the drama realm back into the reality, I feel quite lost. It's like my brain started interpreting myself as different characters in different scenes. There's this really adorable girl. She's petite, and her height was just right for me to put my arms over her shoulders. That moment, I had the image of myself being a man, protecting this little girl. Well not every time of course, I can't accept. Sometimes I see myself as a drunk woman, holding a wine bottle, talking in a slurred manner. Sometimes when I'm doing my presentation, I see my myself as a successful and matured lady, voicing out her opinions confidently with no sense of doubt. The lady who is admired by everyone, and whose presence will always be felt anyway she goes. Sometimes when I'm with my friend who is quite like an elder sister to me, even though I'm older, I changed my tone and sometimes held her hand like how little girls hold their sisters, as I follow her around while laughing together with her in a clear sweet laughter. Maybe that condition happened because I never had siblings, so I guess I wanted to enjoy being cared by an elder sibling, blood related or not. Sometimes when I'm alone, or when I read some sophisticated book, or even listening to melancholy musics, I see myself as a lady, half mad, half normal. Sounds sick, but... I find this identities quite interesting. 

My friend once said "It's normal for girls to think that they have depression and stuff and they start whining about it." I never said I had depression, I just... know that I'm not normal.