“Teen Spirit”
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Sleep deprived. Crazy.
Thursday, September 5 || 9/05/2013 04:26:00 AM
I've been awake for 17 hours already.
I was supposed to be productive but I guess, the plan went off the lane. I ended up singing with an empty stomach till 1 pm and rushing my chemistry revision with distractions from my laptop halfway through the whole process.
I thrashed my whole day.
I didn't go to school, I didn't actually finish up my homework and right now, I've decided to skip tuition as well.
Knowing that I've been practically a useless potato today, I began to panic. Slapped myself a few times on the cheeks to keep myself awake as well as a punishment to myself. Still, I was not satisfied at all. My mind tells me to knock my head on something hard, like a wall or my desk, but I was rational enough to stop myself from doing such nonsense.
Grandma forced me to shower then eat dinner. I was too cranky to do anything. Just took a shower, feel slightly fresher but I don't think it's giving any help. Food? I'm feeling nausea right now. So, fuck food.
While I was in the shower, thinking about how I was going to spend the remnants of my day with this bitch attitude of mine, I began crying for no apparent reason. Sleep-deprived really did affect me badly. Saddening memories, flashbacks all started playing tricks in my head. I began to remember every single critiques and nonsensical comments that people threw and spat at me.
Drama queen.
You're just acting your own drama.
Can you please stop being so melodramatic?
Asshole.
Arrogant bitch.
I'm amazed by my selective memory. I guess my brain really puts these depressing memories inside a hardware while my study plans and some other useful informations? Probably discarded and sent to the junk mail category inside my head.
I'm not bipolar. I don't have a depression and of course I don't have Shizernophrenia. I am a healthy young lady who is sleep-deprived.
However, I have to admit.
Whenever my head is throbbing, I get great ideas.
Cool.
